So it's been awhile since I've written. Of course, not because I haven't had anything to say. I guess I just haven't had the urge to share :)
I was re-reading a few of my old posts and realize at that time I was making a lot of forward momentum. I don't really think the momentum has stopped, but a few things have slipped. However, a few other things have gotten better.
It's safe to say I need to get my lazy ass back in the gym. For a solid 3-4 months I was there 4-5 times a week...sadly I've only been there 3 times in the last two weeks. Goal number 1 - get back where I was.
It's also safe to say that my world at work is ever evolving and changing. Some days are good and some days are bad. I have however gotten much better at managing the bad days and taking advantage of the good days. Goal number 2 - have more good days.
And the real reason I've chosen to share my thoughts with you all today - Goal number 3 - let go of the things I can't control. Believe it or not, I've been called a control freak once or twice in my day. I always thought of it as ambition, strength, or power. However, I'm learning it's added stress, added anxiety, and pushing people close to me away.
I know you're supposed to focus on the things you can change and not let the ones you can't get stop you from reaching your goals. I've always known this. As a commissioned sales rep, we're told that all the time. You control your income, you control how many calls you make each day, you control how many hours you put in, etc. And yes, I have control over those things.
The things I can't control - people. I shared with someone recently that some people say that you have to teach people how to treat you. I gave it some thought and don't know if I necessarily believe that this is true. I think that you have to see how someone treats you and decide if you're okay with it. I think it's fair to ask someone to treat you differently and tell someone when they hurt or upset you. But there comes a point where you have to realize that you cannot change people. You cannot "teach" them how to communicate with you.
The only thing you can change is how you deal with it. You've asked someone to do something differently. You've told them what you need and want from them. They respond in a certain way - and perhaps it's not one you're okay with. Where do you go from there?
In a control freak's world - you obsess. You constantly think and talk about how you just don't understand how someone thinks that this certain behavior is okay. You roll it over and over in your head and wonder what they hell is wrong with this other person. You write about it (yes, I know, I'm a control freak), you read books about it, you watch movies about it - and still can't figure out what you can do to make this other person understand you and do what you need them to do!
But in actuality, as I'm learning, the problem is internal. You can only ask for so much from someone. If they refuse to give you want you need/want - you have two choices. Be okay with it and learn to work with them anyway.... or move on. This is something you can control.
I know in my world that this is going to be an ongoing process for me. To let go of the control. To stop obsessing. To stop trying to change things that I personally CANNOT change. Do you know how much time and energy I spend thinking about things that are so far away from my control they may as well be on another planet? If I told you, it would make you sick.
So my goal - along with getting back in the gym and having more good days - is to stop trying to change the things I cannot control. Whether it be work, friends, relationships, etc. I can't control whether or not someone else is late. I cannot control whether or not a friend returns a phone call. I cannot control what my management team at work decides to do.
So from here forward - I need to learn to let go of control and let things happen. And then decide whether or not - I'm okay with the situation and move on accordingly....
Hmmm...strange feeling this will be easier said than done.
And since one of the many things we can control are our thoughts - decide to have a great weekend!
xoxo
rye
