Taking a stand....

There's something to be said for taking a stand. It's a different experience, and most people tend to be afraid of it . Particularly because taking a stand often takes you completely out of your comfort zone and the choices that you're faced with aren't always the best case scenario.

On the heels of my blog about control, I finally took control of a situation and took a stand for myself. Those of you that know me well are probably laughing right now. You're probably thinking that I have no problem speaking my mind and standing up for what I believe in. However, if you look closely - it's usually taking a stand for YOU. I have no problem standing up for the people in my life. If I feel like someone is treating you poorly - I'll be the first one there for you. When it comes to myself - well, that's a whole different story.

We've had this conversation 42 times before and we'll probably have it 42 more times before I ever really figure out the answer - but what is it about women that allows us to constantly put ourself in situations that we're not okay with - and doing NOTHING to get out?! I'm not refering to a dire situation like an abusive relationship or anything like that, but the more women I talk to the more of us, I learn, have been in a situation where we weren't getting our needs met, the respect we deserve, and the happiness that we all want.

Why is it so scary to walk away from a situation that isn't what we need/want it to be? Of course, as most of my blogs do, I'm refering to relationships. Think about it - how many of us (yes, I'm refering to the beautiful women in my life) are in a situation that truly, truly makes us happy? I hope the answer is yes for all of you - but I'm willing to bet more than HALF wish they were getting something more from their current relationship. And of that HALF ...how many are doing something to change it? And I don't mean to sound like an ass here, I know that there are lot of factors that go into staying in a relationship or leaving one. And I also know NOTHING about marriage and could never begin to understand the decision making process that would go into removing yourself from an unhealthy situation there....but really, really think about it. What are you doing to change things? As I'm sure you've ALL heard me say - the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Though I don't believe the relationship I was in was unhealthy - I know that I wasn't happy. I simply wasn't getting what I needed/wanted from the sutation. And it was a startling thing to say that out loud. Sad, huh? To talk to my friends and say that this just wasn't working for me - well, I don't know when the last time I did that!

For so many years I just DIDN'T date and DIDN'T really let anyone that far into my life - and for the last two years have become somewhat of a "serial" dater, I really can't remember the last time I just walked away. It's particularly hard as a woman, as we tend to look for the best in people anyway. And in this particular situation, I must be honest, he really wasn't a bad guy. He wasn't mean to me. He wasn't disrespectful - he just wasn't what I needed. So I walked away. And again - for those of you super close to me - you know I don't do well with ending relationships....whether I'm calling the shots or not. It's a grieving process I'm still learning how to go through. But, I must say, that knowing I stood up for myself, knowing that I removed myself from a situation that could've very quickly spiraled out of control - well it makes that ending part A LOT less painful.

And I really can't thank you all enough for being FANTASTIC friends! The number of you that are constantly there for me still surprises me. I don't really know why - as you always have been - but it still makes me smile each time one of you reaches out and expresses your love and concern. So thank you for that.

love, love, love
xoxo
rye