With all of the excitement about the movie coming out, I was forced to go out and purchase the book....again! I must say I've read this book probably 4 or 5 times throughout my 20s....yes, I know it's excessive, but sometimes I need a reminder! Mind you I've dated EVERY guy that book describes...
Either way, this most recent time probably resonates the most. It's so funny the excuses we make for people, male and female alike. I don't know if it's the innate need to see the best in people, rose colored glasses, or just plain stupidity - but wow, we let people off the hook for a lot of stuff!
My best friend Cherie thinks I need to stop reading self help books. Personally, I love them. And I try to apply them to my life as much as possible (I think this is why she wants me to stop!). But the truth is, the most recent read of "He's Just Not That Into You!" was probably my favorite.
I'm far enough post break up to see that he REALLY wasn't that into me at all and finally feeling okay about dating again, to see that men will say just about anything to win you over. Until they do win you over....then they're just not that into you....Really, I needed a book to see all of this?! I'm a mess, I know.
I spent this past weekend with 5 of my girlfriends - most of whom I've been close with for a very long time. Talk about a sad, sad group of girls. Between the 6 of us, we could cover any and every dating/marriage nightmare possible. So much so that it's almost comical. Almost....
But dealing with this weekend and reading this book made me wonder how such strong, beautiful, funny women wound up in these situations. This takes me back to a conversation my girlfriend Julie and I used to have all of the time (pre her fanstastic boyfriend that she's madly in love with!!!) where we always came to the conclusion that we just liked the attention.
Do we settle for mediocre because we like the attention? Do we really buy the excuses because we like the attention? Do we really make excuses because we like the attention?!?!! Seriously?
Truth be told, I don't know the answer to this question right now. Those of you that know me know that I write when I get frustrated. So help me out here friends, how do we as beautiful, talented, wonderful women settle for men that just aren't that into us?! Or worse yet, try to figure out why? (because the answer is very clearly, they're just dumb :)
xoxo
rye
Well I must say, us girls really only need the attention till we find what we are looking for. Thing is, its not just girls, guys are just as guilty (if not more in most cases I know) of staying with someone and making excuses for them, because, well, its easier. The best relationships are the ones that take almost no work at all. Now, don't get me wrong, no one is perfect and therefore relationships are not perfect either. All take some work. But it should be easy, fun, exciting...
ReplyDeleteI don't know how else to say it, "you just know when you know" and you've found that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. I know I know it's totally cheesy, but its true. My best advise, go with your gut, it knows best.
Oh Ryann, I miss you!
it's like when people ask "what's the secret to life?" no one knows the answer! but we all do it, and all "learn" from our mistakes... well, the really BAD mistakes we learn from at least. the rest we just put our rose-tinted glasses back on for and say "it's really not as bad as it seems." not all guys are bad, though, just takes some time to sift through to get a good one! trial and error - without the bad in life we wouldn't see the good :)
ReplyDeleteI always thought I knew what I wanted until a wise woman introduced me to the non-negotaibles. Apparently, I was only supposed to have three. Anyway, up until then, I always thought my type was crazy and reckless. Whoops!
ReplyDeleteSo date everyone; fill that funnel! When you meet a good one, it will be painfully obvious and won't require a ton of work. In the meantime, anyone who is not into you is a butthole.