Friends, how do you??

This is one of those weeks where I want nothing more but to be in Orlando @ the Park Central pool (with CJ in town from Philly) - pre everyone moving away. It's amazing how many problems and issues we solved together and there are some days where I'm convinced if we could all just get together - y'all could help me solve my problems or at least offer some sound advice on how to handle a few key situations.

Back in those days all of our problems were one way or another related to men or work....funny how some things never change! But, the situation I'm in currently is a bit different this time around. Rather than wondering why I had such horrible taste in men at that point in my life, I'm wondering what to do with the wonderful one I have now.

I remember Kelley once saying that becoming a 'we' was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. My first thought was 'seriously, is is that hard??!' and my second thought was 'ew, why would you want to do that anyway?' But here I am a few short years later completely understanding where my friend Kelley was coming from. Bringing someone new into your life truly changes your decision making process in some parts of your life.

For example, I never had to think about anyone else's schedule when figuring out my week. I'm learning now, that if I don't take his schedule into consideration when planning mine, I'll never see him. I NEVER ever thought to check with someone else before making plans. Just this week, I wanted to make dinner plans for 'us' (which is weird in and of itself) but felt the need to confirm that making those plans was okay with his plan. It sounds simple enough, but it's becoming quite the juggling act. I must say though, I truly commend those of you with children - I can only imagine how scheduling and planning works in your house.

So those are the easy parts of being a 'we.' It's not that big of a deal to pair up a schedule. It's not that hard to make sure the other person hasn't made plans before you make plans for the two of you. What I'm finding really, really hard these days is finding a balance as it relates to friendship.

I think it goes without saying that I've never been tasked with trying to figure out how to do the whole 'couple' friends thing or 'his friends' versus 'my friends' - and of course - don't forget 'our friends.' Who knew it could be such a challenge to keep it all straight - and still maintain some kind of individuality.

And to make a complicated situation completely crazy - let's trying disagreeing about friends. What do you do when you both have different opinions about people? What do you do when you're in a situation that regardless of who makes the call - you run the risk of making a semi-permanent change in the other persons' life (as it relates to the people in it)?

Believe me, I've looked at this up, down, and sideways and haven't found a solution I'm happy with. I can tell you exactly how I would handle it a situation if it was just me, if I were the only person that had to deal with the consequences. But, I can't, in good judgement, make that decision for two people. I know that somewhere out there a compromise does exist. And that there is an appopriate way to handle situations like this....but I feel as if perhaps I'm a bit too 'in the middle' of this situation to see anything other than what I want to see.

So, to my lovely friends, how do you become a 'we'? How do you learn to make decisions in the best interest of both people in mind - particularly when you disagree?

And all this time, I thought FINDING a good guy was the hard part....
In the meantime, I may spend some time today daydreaming about coolers full of beer, excessive amounts of sunscreen and tanning oil, and jamming out to a boom box in my backyard at PC....

xoxo
rye